WASHINGTON 鈥� On a Saturday night out with friends, you lock eyes with someone across the bar. You smile, then she smiles. You wave, and her hands move to touch the dimple on her neck, directly above where her necklace rests.
Should you make the move and spark a conversation? Probably not, said Lena Sisco, president and co-founder of The Congruency Group. All signs show you鈥檙e making her feel uncomfortable.
鈥淎nd that鈥檚 a good sign they鈥檙e probably not interested,鈥� Sisco said.
Sisco is a former military intelligence officer and interrogator, who for more than a decade has trained Department of Defense personnel on tactical questioning and detecting deception. This Valentine鈥檚 Day, she is bringing her expertise in reading body language to to help Washingtonians improve their love lives.
At the event, 鈥�,鈥� Sisco will explain how to tell if your partner is lying, and how a slight shoulder shrug can bear big meaning. She鈥檒l also go over how to indicate whether someone is into you.
鈥�When we meet someone and we鈥檙e physically attracted to them, the body actually goes through this change,鈥� said Sisco, author of 鈥淵ou鈥檙e Lying.鈥�
鈥淲e stand with better posture and, all of the sudden, everything that鈥檚 sagging doesn鈥檛 sag anymore, and our muscles look bigger and we look younger.鈥�
Just as important as knowing whether a spark is there, is knowing when a relationship isn鈥檛 going as well as you thought. This is where detecting deception comes in handy.
If you鈥檙e wondering whether your partner is telling the truth, Sisco said he or she should be able to answer a simple yes or no question. 聽
鈥淎n honest person has no problem saying yes or no to a specific pinpointed question about a certain topic,鈥� said Sisco, who spent time stationed at Guant谩namo Bay, Cuba.
鈥淚nherently, all people want to be honest 鈥� even the bad guys that I鈥檝e interviewed 鈥� because people don鈥檛 like to lie. It doesn鈥檛 make them feel good. So, they have a real hard time saying with conviction yes or no to a question because it makes them feel bad.鈥�
Another thing to keep an eye on is body language, which should be congruent with spoken language. For example, the head shouldn鈥檛 shake 鈥渘o鈥� while the person鈥檚 words say 鈥測es.鈥�
If your partner shrugs his shoulders when he tells you he doesn鈥檛 know what he wants for dinner, that鈥檚 OK. However, if he shrugs his shoulders while swearing he didn鈥檛 go out last night, that鈥檚 more concerning.
鈥淲hen people shrug their shoulders, all the time 鈥� 100 percent of the time 鈥� it means uncertainty. They鈥檙e uncertain of what they鈥檙e saying,鈥� Sisco said.
Taking note of the power zones is another key to reading body language. These zones include the neck dimple, the bellybutton area, and, what Sisco calls, 鈥渢he naughty bits.鈥� If a person covers any of these areas up, it means they鈥檙e uncomfortable.
鈥淚t鈥檚 the way that the body goes into that 鈥榩rotect mode,鈥欌�� Sisco explained. 聽
Covering these zones can also be a sign that the person is lying.
鈥淏ut a truthful person, who鈥檚 feeling very positive with positive emotions, will keep them open and exposed, almost like they鈥檙e saying, 鈥業 have nothing to hide, I have nothing to cover up,鈥欌�� Sisco said.
Want to learn more about love and body language? Catch Sisco at the Spy Museum on Valentine鈥檚 Day, Feb. 14, at 6 p.m. is $35; tickets include a cocktail and sweet treats. She鈥檒l even analyze your lip print and teach you how to pick a lock 鈥�
