Millions of teens are leaving home this month, headed off to college, the military and beyond. In many cases, they leave unprepared parents behind who are grappling with empty nest syndrome.
鈥淭hey are feeling that void of not having their child in the house anymore,鈥� said Dr. Kathryn Ziemer, clinical director at in Alexandria.
鈥淪o, it feels emptier. But it鈥檚 not uncommon for parents to feel a sense of loss.鈥�
Empty nest syndrome is marked by a range of emotions, including sadness and loneliness, that turn up after a child leaves home.
Ziemer said the shift can be jarring for parents who 鈥渉ave built their identity around being a parent and raising children.鈥�
Many parents don鈥檛 know what to do next.
鈥淭hey can kind of have an identity crisis sometimes,鈥� she said. 鈥淭hey say, 鈥極h, my gosh, I don鈥檛 have this as the central role in my life anymore.鈥欌��
Francine Ellis remembers becoming an empty nester about 20 years ago. First, her daughter enlisted into the Air Force. A few years later, her son got married, joined the Navy and moved away.
Her house was quiet.
鈥淲hen you鈥檙e at home and you鈥檙e by yourself, that loneliness sets in,鈥� she said.
鈥淪ome people say, 鈥榃hen I鈥檓 at home, I鈥檓 not lonely.鈥� But let鈥檚 be honest, we are. And binge watching Netflix doesn鈥檛 always help.鈥�
Ellis, a self-described social butterfly, needed something to do with like-minded people. She volunteered at local sports stadiums, started an event planning business with a friend, and, finally settled on traveling.
鈥淚鈥檝e always wanted to travel. And I found my people,鈥� said Ellis, who also hosts Meetup and Facebook groups for empty nest parents in D.C., Maryland and Virginia. 鈥淧eople that were like me, who didn鈥檛 have children at home and needed something to fill the space.鈥�
She enjoyed traveling with other empty nesters so much that she launched a travel agency seven years ago. In addition to booking for clients of all ages, offers domestic and international vacation packages aimed at empty nest parents.
Her popular, mostly adults-only trips are even attracting people who are on the cusp of becoming empty nesters soon.
So far, her travel buddies have visited Jamaica, St. Croix, Mexico and the Dominican Republic. And every year, her clients snatch up spots for her annual trips to the Macy鈥檚 Thanksgiving Day Parade in New York and a New Year鈥檚 Eve getaway.
Dubai is in the works for next year, she said.
鈥淭his absolutely was a way of coping,鈥� said Ellis, 60, who started the agency after retiring early.
Ziemer tells parents struggling with empty nest syndrome to put their experience into perspective. The uncomfortable emotions linked to a child leaving happen to many parents, she said.
鈥淚t鈥檚 normal to feel sad about leaving your child at school,鈥� Ellis told 草莓传媒. 鈥淏e aware of what you鈥檙e feeling and let yourself feel it. But then start to shift gears.鈥�
She next advises them to rethink their situation.
鈥淥K, yes, it鈥檚 a loss but your kids are still your kids,鈥� she said. 鈥淩eframe this as an opportunity. You鈥檙e going to have more freedom, more time and less responsibility.鈥�
Ziemer also tells parents to keep the lines of communication with their children open. But set boundaries, too.
鈥淚t鈥檚 all about finding the right balance,鈥� Ziemer said.
鈥淵ou can still be there for them. And be real with them, that you miss them. But let them have their own autonomy to spread their wings a little bit.鈥�
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