Ranking the NCAA Tournament team mascots, 68-1

**#68 Crimson — Harvard** **#67 Utes — Utah** **#66 Crusaders — Valparaiso** **#65 Blue Devils — Duke** **#64 Fighting Irish — Notre Dame** **#63 Musketeers — Xavier** **#62 Cavaliers — Virginia** **#61 Colonials — Robert Morris** Seriously, what is happening with this group? Weirdly dated religious references? Anti-American fighters? Anyway, congrats, Harvard 鈥� it鈥檚 your turn to be dead last at something. A color isn鈥檛 a mascot. (which goes by the same name) knows so. (AP Photo/Bob Leverone)

**#60 Buckeyes — Ohio State** **#59 Aggies — New Mexico State** **#58 Cardinals — Louisville** **#57 Eagles — Eastern Washington** **#56 Chanticleers — Coastal Carolina** Shrubby flowers and birds? Not impressed. And don鈥檛 try to sell me . There鈥檚 originality, and then there鈥檚 simply trying too hard. (AP Photo/Gerry Broome)

**#55 Red Storm — St. John鈥檚** **#54 Wildcats — Arizona** **#53 Wildcats — Villanova** **#52 Wildcats — Davidson** **#51聽Wildcats — Kentucky** Booooorinnng. I鈥檓 sure 鈥淲ildcats鈥� seemed real original when you first adopted it, but when there are nearly 30 schools using the same name, it gets a little old. Speaking of鈥� (AP Photo/Mark Humphrey)

**#50 Cougars — BYU** **#49 Bulldogs — Georgia** **#48 Bulldogs — Gonzaga** **#47 Bulldogs — Butler** **#46 Hoyas — Georgetown** There are also 27 Cougars out there, and 39 Bulldogs. Thirty-nine. At least Georgetown had the presence of mind to change the name up a bit. (AP Photo/Michael Conroy)

**#45 Tigers — Texas Southern** **#44 Tigers — LSU** **#43 Panthers — Georgia State** **#42 Panthers — Northern Iowa** **#41 Leopards — Lafayette** You鈥檙e next, generic cats. There鈥檚 nothing wrong with any of these, but nothing particularly right, either. Lafayette takes home the group鈥檚 top mark for originality and alliteration. (AP Photo/Charlie Neibergall)

**#40 Bearcats — Cincinnati** **#39 Bruins — UCLA** **#38 Bruins — Belmont** **#37 Bears 鈥� Baylor** **#36 Huskies — Northeastern** Time for the many varieties of Bears. The Bearcats bring up the rear, because what in the world is a Bearcat? Also, Belmont rates ahead of UCLA because they aren鈥檛 UCLA. The somewhat generic Huskies round out the group. (AP Photo/LM Otero)

**#35 Bison — North Dakota State** **#34 Pirates — Hampton** **#33 Spartans — Michigan State** **#32 Aztecs — San Diego State** **#31 Friars — Providence** Consider this the non-American peoples group. Pirates and Spartans are fairly commonplace, but Aztecs and Friars are more memorable. Why are the Bison in here? As punishment, for knocking out a potential top 10 (or even top five) team in their conference tournament, the South Dakota State Jackrabbits. (AP Photo/Young Kwak)

**#30 Hawkeyes — Iowa** **#29 Shockers — Wichita State** **#28 Hoosiers — Indiana** **#27 Sooners — Oklahoma** **#26 Jayhawks — Kansas** This group is like a U.S. history lesson. I鈥檒l give credit to these plains schools for finding something uniquely theirs, but each one feels like it鈥檚 trying a little too hard. The Hawkeye has nothing to do with the bird, but is actually . The Jayhawk isn鈥檛 a real bird, but rather a term for . Not bad, but not the best, either. (AP Photo/Pat Sullivan)

**#25 Cowboys — Wyoming** **#24 Cowboys — Oklahoma State** **#23 Broncos — Boise State** **#22 Mustangs — SMU** **#21 Longhorns — Texas** The 鈥楳urica group comes in strong to round out the top 20. Cowboys and their horses can be a stereotypical image of the Wild West, but one that鈥檚 embraced by many schools west of the Mississippi. Meanwhile, the Longhorns have become one of the most symbolic logos and mascots in college sports. (AP Photo/Michael Thomas)

**#20 Rebels — Ole Miss** **#19 Mountaineers — West Virginia** **#18 Boilermakers — Purdue** **#17 Tar Heels — North Carolina** **#16 Flyers — Dayton** To crack the top 20, you needed to bring some of that state pride of those plains schools without the questionable etymology. You have to love Dayton鈥檚 homage to the Wright Brothers, who invented the airplane in that town. Purdue鈥檚 homegrown nickname might have placed them even higher, if not for that mascot, which is frightening enough to . (AP Photo/Mark Humphrey)

**#15 Bulls — Buffalo** **#14 Rams — VCU** **#13 Razorbacks — Arkansas** **#12 Badgers — Wisconsin** **#11 Wolfpack — North Carolina State** Just missing the top 10 are a group of animal mascots each iconic in their own way. Buffalo ties in nicely with its pro team, while Arkansas stands out in an SEC loaded with boring nicknames. The badger shouldn鈥檛 be ferocious, but it works for Wisconsin, especially since it . (AP Photo/Gareth Patterson)

**#10 Cyclones — Iowa State** Not only does this name have a regional tie, with Iowa topping the north end of Tornado Alley, but it aptly describes this year鈥檚 whirlwind offense. (AP Photo/Charlie Neibergall)

#9 Osprey — North Florida Buffalo Wild Wings missed their target by one year with their ad campaign鈥erhaps they鈥檒l revive it in North Florida鈥檚 honor. (AP Photo/Charlie Neibergall)

**#8 Jaspers — Manhattan** Named for Brother Jasper of Mary, who first brought baseball to the school, Manhattan sports a great nickname. And , Br. Jasper himself is responsible for the invention of the seventh-inning stretch. (Manhattan Jaspers)

**#7 Terrapins — Maryland** Fear. The. Turtle. The Terps make one of the strangest mascots in the land work for them. Testudo is such a force, he鈥檚 already and has his eyes set on Mark Turgeon next. (AP Photo/Patrick Semansky)

**#6 Terriers — Wofford** This shouldn鈥檛 work for Wofford, but it does. Look at that face. Just look at it. (vetstreet.com)

**#5 Blazers — UAB** Simply going by the Dragons wouldn鈥檛 be enough for UAB to rise this high on the list. The unique play on the word came from the student-voted poll, as the university hoped to blaze a trail for college athletics. Unfortunately, UAB shuttered its football program this year, so it鈥檚 up to basketball to lead the way now. (Getty Images/Jonathan Ferry)

**#4 Great Danes — Albany** My colleague Dave Preston believes the Albany Great Dane looks like Scooby-Doo. The cartoon version certainly has a crime-fighter quality to him, but regardless of any celebrity resemblance, it鈥檚 clear Albany owns the dog mascot realm. (AP Photo/David J. Phillip)

**#3 Ducks — Oregon** We tend to forget just how great the Oregon Duck is. From the fitting animal for the school鈥檚 locale, , it鈥檚 hard to beat the Duck. (AP Photo)

**#2 Lumberjacks — Stephen F. Austin** A man. A man and his axe. A man, his purple axe, and a purpose, to . (AP Photo/Gregory Bull)

Peter the Anteater
photo: Steve Zylius/UC Irvine Communications — **#1 Anteaters — UC Irvine** Was there ever really any other choice? The mascot is an anteater. . The only thing that would be better is if they went back to the version from 1985. (Steve Zylius/UC Irvine Communications)

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WASHINGTON — There are plenty of ways to enjoy March Madness. You can debate the merits of each NCAA Tournament team and pick upsets and sleepers, . You can ignore the noise and just seek out .

Or, you can rank the mascots from each school.

This is not, for the record, an objective measure of ferocity, or scariness, or which personified character you鈥檇 want behind you in a fight. It鈥檚 a completely subjective measurement, based on criteria literally made up as I go. You鈥檙e welcome to argue the merits of my rankings, but it would be a futile exercise, as they have no merit.

With no further ado, let鈥檚 get this countdown underway. We鈥檒l do the bottom eight in one group, then in sets of five until we hit the top 10. There are plenty of duplicates, so tiebreakers will be awarded based on physical appearance. Yes, that鈥檚 shallow, but so is this entire exercise.

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