Gary Girolimon and Jill Parenteau, siblings in New Hampshire, were providing care and support for their 82-year-old brother, Ron, who had , until .
“I would have loved to have kept him in his house,” says Parenteau, who served as the for Ron. “But many of the providers were not showing up. We’d get a call an hour before someone was supposed to come that they weren’t coming.”
The high turnover rate in aides added to the difficulty of managing Ron’s care at home, but the tipping point was when he started , according to : “That’s when we said, ‘We can’t rely on people coming to watch him.'”
Girolimon and Parenteau knew it was time to find an affordable, local situation that would be able to support Ron as his .
It’s not always easy to know when to move from independent living to assisted living, but there are some specific signs that can signal it’s time. Here’s what to know about making the transition from independent living to assisted living.
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When Is It Time for Assisted Living?
There are a few warning that indicate it’s time for assisted living, including:
— Worsening medical conditions, with an increased number of and overall increased
— Difficulty managing domestic finances or other money problems
— Difficulty keeping the house clean or maintaining personal hygiene
— or social isolation
— Challenges with medication management
— Weight loss or poor nutrition
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Activities of daily living checklist
One of the key measures for determining your loved one’s ability to live independently is how well they perform , or ADLs.
The following checklist can help you ascertain exactly how much support your loved one needs to complete ADLs on a regular basis. If they need more support, it’s time to consider assisted living.
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Independent Living vs. Assisted Living
Understanding the key differences between can help you narrow down the appropriate time to transition between the .
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What Other Situations Indicate It’s Time for Assisted Living?
The following scenarios help illustrate when it may be time to consider moving a loved one to a place where they can get more intensive and supportive care.
— Recently lost a spouse: Assisted living can help alleviate the burden of struggling to cook or clean and dealing with and .
— Developing multiple medical problems: Assisted living communities can provide more day-to-day help with some medical problems, such as or when a chronic disease progresses.
— Signs of memory loss: , or even a , may be better suited for seniors exhibiting or reduced cognitive ability.
— Caregiver burnout: An assisted living facility may provide for and more sustainable support for the senior. Parenteau says that before her brother moved to an assisted living facility, she found it exhausting to be on-call all the time in case something went wrong. Assisted living met her brother’s needs better than she could.
— Difficult-to-manage behaviors: When a loved one is no longer at home, it’s time to consider moving to a more secure environment. For Parenteau and Girolimon, transitioning their brother to full-time care was a logical response to his frequent wanderings. They were concerned he could get lost or hurt, even with the help of aides.
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The Benefits of Assisted Living
offer a wide range of benefits to seniors.
Greater ease with completing tasks
Most assisted living communities offer amenities such as communal , laundry services and a salon or barbershop. This makes life easier and safer for many older adults, as they won’t have to risk driving off-site for errands or routine self-care services.
Opportunities for socializing
Assisted living communities offer a range of and events, including games, arts and crafts, sessions, gardening, outings and more, which foster community and prevent isolation and loneliness.
Improved fitness and mobility
improves your ability to maintain independence and mobility for longer, and most assisted living facilities ensure their residents have access to fitness classes and other exercise options to support good health.
Reduced health care costs compared to home health care
While assisted living communities can be expensive, moving to one may actually save you money in the long run if it means you won’t need as much home health care.
“Moving into assisted living earlier can offset higher costs associated with , one-to-one care or the decline that occurs when one doesn’t optimize their health,” says Angela Stewart, vice president of clinical services with Touchmark, a Beaverton, Oregon-based senior living company with communities for across the country.
What’s more, assisted living typically costs less than a nursing home. According to , in 2025, the monthly median was $6,200. A nursing home costs an average of $9,581 per month for a semi-private room and $10,798 for a private room.
, and most people who reside in assisted living pay for this care out of pocket through savings, retirement benefits, some or proceeds from the sale of their home. These expenses can add up, so it’s important to conduct a thorough financial assessment before moving into a community that might quickly become too expensive.
Improved quality of life
These benefits often have a greater impact if an older adult moves in earlier rather than later. When done right, a move to assisted living can be a transformative experience for the whole family, opening up many new possibilities.
What’s more, “moving to a community that meets your social, mental and physical needs may not only improve your quality of life, but it might even improve your health,” says Dr. Deena Goldwater, a cardiologist and geriatrician who serves as vice president of care delivery at Welcome Health, a Southern California-based primary care practice specializing in aging.
For Parenteau’s brother, the social interaction was a significant benefit of the move. Despite the high cost of the facility, Parenteau believes it was the right move. Sadly, Ron passed away in April 2025.
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How to Find an Assisted Living Facility and Plan a Move
There are many assisted living communities, and it’s not always clear how they differ from one another, which makes for your loved one a challenge.
Here are a few tips to help make it simpler:
— Start your search early. Waiting until a loved one urgently needs more care adds to the stress of finding a good place for them. Instead, start early and learn about the options available in your community.
— Consider future care needs. Some communities offer tiered care options, allowing your loved one to move only once and still access all the care they will need in the future. That can be an attractive option for many people, as chronic health conditions progress over time.
— Put yourself in their shoes. you’re considering, and ask lots of questions of staff and residents. Try the food and attend events to learn what it’s really like to be a resident there.
— Get all the details about fees and services. Before signing a contract, be sure to read all the fine print and understand your financial responsibilities. Consider whether the facility is affordable for you and your loved one.
— Check for local resources. Assisted living can be very expensive. Speak with an elder care expert or to learn about any local assistance programs that may be available to your family member.
How to Talk to Parents About Assisted Living
Moving is never easy, but some seniors may resist the move to assisted living specifically because they view it as a and autonomy. But it doesn’t have to be. These steps can help ease the transition from independent living to assisted living.
1. Prepare for difficult emotions
Moving to a senior living community is a significant life change, and it can bring some difficult emotions. It’s best to give your parent some time to adjust to the idea. Touring facilities and meeting current residents can also help make the process less stressful.
When having these conversations, keep in mind:
— You don’t have to do it all at once. You can make small inroads before you sit down for a big conversation about the need for upgraded care.
— Try to do most, if not all, of this communication in person. This way, you can pick up on body language and other nonverbal clues about how your loved one is really feeling and respond accordingly.
— Listen carefully to the answers. Really listen to what your loved one is saying, and aim to ask that allow them to bring up any issues or concerns.
2. Do your homework
Before initiating any conversation, write down your own concerns and the key points you want to convey to your loved one. Then follow these steps:
— Research options for a good fit, so you have some suggestions at the ready as the conversation evolves.
— Visit each place you’re considering. As mentioned, it’s important that you experience what it would be like to live there. Meet the residents and staff to gauge how comfortable and welcoming the place is.
— During those visits, talk to the staff to get a sense of how they care for people and their training and background.
— Discuss your loved one’s preferences in the context of this new information and see if there’s a match.
Checking with your state’s licensing agency that oversees assisted living properties is also a good idea.
“Communities that are licensed have to give the state their disclosure statement once a year,” notes Martha Bonilla, a senior living counselor with CC Young Senior Living in Dallas.
These statements include details about staff to resident ratios, number and scope of activities, care services provided and more.
Having this data can help you “compare apples to apples,” she adds. “If you get a disclosure statement from community A and you get one from B, get the two pieces of paper together and compare them. It’s a wonderful tool at your disposal.”
3. Talk about senior care options
According to data from the
, the average length of stay in an assisted living community is 22 months. For about 60% of residents, this period is followed by a move to a nursing home or .
Some tips for approaching your loved one about moving into assisted living include:
— Start with a general discussion of what their life is like at home. Ask about safety issues or challenges they might be having, and determine if these can be easily remedied, such as by installing handrails around the bathtub. What can you address in the short term until a decision about future care is made?
— Ask what kinds of help your loved one might want. They may be struggling in silence with housekeeping, laundry, running errands or other chores and hoping you’ll offer assistance.
— Ask if your loved one feels lonely. One of the is the increased social stimulation. Community dining and activities can be a significant help for seniors who are feeling lonely.
— Be empathetic. Try to understand how difficult these conversations can be, and approach them with sensitivity and kindness.
Some families find that speaking with an expert about senior care options can be beneficial as well. These experts can help families decide the right time to move:
— Your loved one’s doctor
—
— Financial advisor
— Attorney
— Social worker
— Family counselor
— Local nonprofit organizations
4. Determine how to pay for assisted living.
Because assisted living typically costs more than $6,000 per month or more — depending on the location and the services used — it’s essential to take a careful assessment of your loved one’s finances and figure out how they’ll pay for this care going forward.
It’s also worth noting, Bonilla says, that care needs can escalate quickly, and as more services are added, the cost of that care increases. Take stock of the whole financial picture to be sure your loved one will be able to afford the care they need over time.
5. Take a practical approach to downsizing.
Undertaking a move to a new senior care community often requires . This can be a challenging situation as your loved one sifts through years of memories and tries to pare down their belongings. You can support them by offering to help them sort items, take items to be donated and make thoughtful suggestions for what to keep versus what to toss.
6. Clarify move-in procedures.
The community your loved one is moving to may have restrictions on when they can move in and how movers can access the space. It’s also important to determine how much space your loved one will have, whether the living space is furnished, whether they’ll have storage space and other specifics to understand what they need to discard and what they can take with them.
7. Make the move.
On move-in day, your loved one needs extra support. This is a significant change, and they may be struggling with lots of emotions. Be sure to have the right support network in place and prioritize looking out for their best interests.
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Update 03/25/26: This story was published at an earlier date and has been updated with new information.
