WASHINGTON 鈥� If you Google 鈥淎merica鈥檚 worst mom,鈥� Lenore Skenazy鈥檚 name dominates the search results 鈥� for several pages. 聽
The New York City mom and journalist was slapped with the title in 2008 after letting her then-9-year-old son, Izzy, ride the subway alone.
鈥淚 remember it like it was yesterday,鈥� said Izzy Skenazy, now 18.
He had been begging his parents to let him get on the train by himself for weeks and finally, they agreed. Lenore took Izzy to Bloomingdale鈥檚 and left him in the handbag department with a fare card, a $20 bill and a subway map. Shortly after, he arrived at home.
鈥淲hen he came through the door, he was like, levitating. He was so proud and so happy,鈥� Lenore said about Izzy鈥檚 first taste of independence.
And so was she.
鈥淲e forget that the greatest joy that parents have is watching their kids do something 鈥� especially without them,鈥� said Lenore, who wrote about her parenting decision a few months later in .
A tidal wave of criticism followed, and Lenore ended up on numerous news and talk shows defending her choice.
Her response to the judgment? Parents need to give their kids some space. After all, children are far more capable than we give them credit.
鈥淚 am a mom who loves safety; I鈥檓 not a crazy mom. I love helmets and car seats and seatbelts 鈥� so I don鈥檛 think that I鈥檓 an Evil Knievel-type of mom, but I just don鈥檛 think that our kids need a security detail every time they leave the house,鈥� she said.
After the subway incident, Lenore went on to blog, write a book and eventually make a TV show about raising 鈥�,鈥� or children who are given multiple opportunities to function independently. Since then, she鈥檚 argued that because of isolated incidents played out in the media, parents are too afraid to let their kids be kids.
The free-range parenting style is one of controversy. In 2015, Silver Spring, Maryland, parents Alexander and Danielle Meitiv were cleared of two neglect charges after their children, ages 6 and 10, from a playground by themselves.
鈥淲e鈥檙e overestimating the danger out there and underestimating [our kids鈥橾 abilities and we鈥檙e not doing anyone any favors,鈥� Lenore said. 鈥淚t鈥檚 not that each individual parent is a neurotic, overprotective nutjob. It is a culture that is telling us.鈥�
And it starts before birth.
Lenore mentions the 鈥淲hat to Expect鈥� books that have a list of guidelines for parents-to-be to follow before they鈥檝e even conceived. Then, once a child is born, there鈥檚 nothing but an endless stream of information warning parents what they need to do.
鈥淭hat鈥檚 the culture that parents are born into. They鈥檙e told that every single thing they do has to be super important developmentally and super safe and cautious and baby proof everything and get your kid into the right class at the right time,鈥� Lenore said.
鈥淪omehow we鈥檝e forgotten that anything kicks in automatically 鈥� any curiosity, any brain cells, any caution. 鈥� If you鈥檙e not 鈥榳hat-iffing鈥� to the very worst degree, then you鈥檙e not a caring parent.鈥�
Her one tip for parents who want to turn off the helicopter and start giving their kids a little room to spread their own wings? Think back to one thing that you did and loved to do as a kid, that you won鈥檛 let your own child do. Whether that activity is playing outside unsupervised in the neighborhood until dinner or walking to the store by yourself to buy a treat with your hard-earned allowance 鈥斅爈et your child try something similar, if they feel ready.
鈥淛ust letting your kid do one thing that you鈥檝e grown afraid of that you remember doing as a kid is outrageously transformative,鈥� Lenore said.
Nine years later, Izzy still hasn鈥檛 forgotten the feeling of accomplishing something on his own.
鈥淵ou feel like a grown-up, and it felt great to be an adult for 45 minutes,鈥� he said.
This summer, he backpacked from Portugal to Israel by himself with an unlimited train ticket and he likened the experience to his first ride on the subway.
鈥淭he subway ride instilled such confidence in me and I think that really gives momentum to a kid,鈥� he said.
鈥淸A train ticket] is your ticket to the rest of the world. And I鈥檓 proud to have the world鈥檚 worst mom.鈥�
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Lenore Skenazy will be hosting a seminar at this year鈥檚 WOW Summit at National Harbor. For more information, .
